I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just high enough for therapy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
