perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
