when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
