Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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