I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
