I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
