Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
