Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
