don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
