i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
