1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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