i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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