she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
