ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
