Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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