One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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