Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
