Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
