i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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