Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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