Nicole vs. Life
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
