I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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