Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
