He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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