That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
