i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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