how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
