i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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