I'm jealous of your bromance
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
