Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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