He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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