then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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