my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need to calm my uterus...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
