Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
