you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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