did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can u get pink eye on your cock?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
