i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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