Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
do nipples grow back?
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