john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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