Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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