when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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