you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
