so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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