smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
