whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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