I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
