I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
