Little spoons don't ask big questions
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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