i don't like sucking hair
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
we're so committed to being not committed
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
