Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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